1.2 miles to lake

Agreeing with ilyaeelz that the poem was a bit overwrought, and that it tried too hard to be clever.

Personally, I felt the ending was too intrusive and obtuse. You have the lush imagery of the rest of the poem, but then suddenly the coarseness of "Fuck", without any real lead up. While contrast can work wonders in a poem, the "Fuck" came out of the blue, and so it read as a non sequitur. Rather than the contast reading interestingly, it read as disjointed to me, as if, again, you were trying too hard to be clever with this.

As for the rest of the poem, I felt that you got a bit carried away with the punctuation, which not only made the ideas a bit tricky to follow, but contributed quite a bit to the overwrought feeling I got. Breaking up the long strings of full-stop-less words with an occasional period might help clarify the flow of ideas and add a bit of variety to the punctuation while also cutting down on the "too much" impression.

I like the language you're using here, but I feel like the poem thinks of itself as cleverer than it really is. You have elements that I have seen and appreciated in professional writing, but here they feel, not forced but like a child trying to 'prove' he's an adult by doing things like pretending to smoke, drink, or whatever.

Some examples:

We rose like-- well I would like to at least mention

and unscrupulously mentioned maybe mentioning